My Attempts to Meet a Guy … in Rural West Tennessee (in my 40s no less)

Through my IRL attempts, I ‘ve met men much younger than me. They are great to look at but are less “developed” than what I’d like in the emotional and psychological aspect of things. Not to mention they (the ones I’ve met) are also lacking in the accept-responsibility area … One even hit me up for a “loan” and when I told him I didn’t have it, I never heard from him again! And that was date #3!

Men that are my age, that I have met IRL, are married (and I want no parts of that), or are not my type – meaning that they have not taken care of themselves (the ones that I met) or they smoke or they drink much more than socially. Let me say that I am not snobby or extremely picky – but I do have standards!

So I created a profile on a dating website. And let me tell you, I have had no better luck! Most of the guys I’ve met are ones I deleted or blocked because of a variety of reasons; too old, smoke, not my type (not anybody’s type I promise you …), not been honest about who they are, or all they want to do is talk about sex … in detail … and they want to get into fetishes and freaky stuff … I’m no prude or anything, I just don’t want to start off the conversation about wild sexual stuff … well, not with strangers anyway! ;)

I have met a few interesting guys though. Unfortunately, they’re all an hour or more driving distance from here so it’s not likely we’ll be able to keep up anything other than an internet chatting session. I do think 2 people can do a long distance thing – but it has to start IRL first, you have to have incredible chemistry (IMHO), but it’s not the most ideal way for me to start up with someone … Maybe I’m not giving this enough of a chance. I just think if you can’t physically be with the person you like then things are doomed to eventually fizzle …



Here’s a rundown (names are close to the original) of the nice guys I’ve met and what their status is now:

Richard (met online): Lives in Arkansas – too far. He says he does nothing other than work and come home … WTH? Sounds pretty boring to me or maybe he’s not telling the whole truth …

Jeremy K (met online): Lives about 3 hrs away. We were “talking” via Messenger and text pretty regular for about two weeks. I liked what I was finding out about him. He was a good age for me, I was attracted to him, he likes to cook, he is responsible and protective of his child, his 9 year old son lives with him, and he has a sarcastic/dry sense of humor that I like. Then he just quit “talking” – I got no more texts from him, hear nothing from him when we’re both on Messenger, and I’ve heard nothing from him on Facebook either. I understand that sometimes people just come & go from your life and that maybe he wasn’t as into me as I thought … but it’s just a mystery as to why I suddenly stopped hearing from him.

Jeremy IDK His Last Name (met online): Lives about 3 hrs away too. We “talk” via Messenger and text, he’s a little shy for me – but he’ll be a great guy friend. He seems very nice …

Dwight (met IRL): we met through mutual friends and we started talking/texting. A week went by and things were fine – then he asked me if I’d like to “do something” with him that next weekend. I said ok – we had been communicating for a week so I just thought it would continue & then we’d go out. Well it never happened. I stopped hearing from him on a Thursday & on Saturday I still heard nothing so I sent him a message – (even though I made plans with my friends’) – I wanted to see if he still planned on going out. He at least replied back that he got sick & meant to call me the day before … Good thing I sent him a message – I would have never heard from him (but I had plans anyway)! I haven’t heard a word from him since then & I haven’t sent him a message either.

Brian With The Abs (met online): He has an incredible body!!! OMG – he has muscles everywhere! All the pix he’s sent me are of him taking his pic in the mirror with his cell – so I’m thinking he’s got a large ego … some of his text messages suggest that also. We haven’t met in person yet & I doubt if we ever will. I’m fine with just hearing from him (through a text) every so often. He’s really not my type and I’m fine with just being friends with an awesome body builder guy. I’m also flattered that he’d send me his pix!

Shane (met IRL): He’s 10 years younger than me and we really have only one thing in common. The age difference is not the issue – we just have nothing in common except sex. As incredible as that is, I want something more; a mental challenge, someone I can do stuff with in public. (with his job schedule & my job schedule it’s difficult.) I thought I could have a “relationship” based on one thing – but I can’t. It’s not really a “relationship” & that’s no one’s fault – it just is. And I don’t want whatever it is anymore.

Clay (met IRL): Oh boy. He was 13 years younger than me. There was never anything else besides a strong physical attraction. Yes, there was some strong chemistry there on both parts. Then he asked me to loan him $1000. I was nice about saying no, & I haven’t heard from him since…

Jeff (met IRL): I’ve known him for 23 years or so. We have always been just friends – we never were boyfriend & girlfriend. He was a great (virtual) shoulder to cry on when I first separated and we talked regular for over a year; texting, chatting, emailing, calling. He lives in another state and even came up here for a visit once. It was great & I developed feelings for him, but our timing sucks! He lost his job, is in a different state, and… is still married (though he says that’s gonna change). The “still married” thing is a HUGE red flag – I NEED to leave that one alone. The no job is a small red flag – lots of people are without a job now so it’s not a big deal to me – he has skills and is a hard worker & I know he’ll find a job this year. I just keep going back to the married part … he’s still married – even though he says it’s over. I think it’s a good idea if I steer clear of him for a while. I haven’t heard from him since around Christmas time …

That’s just my luck right now. I’m not consumed with finding someone – I have too much other to focus on. I know things will happen when they happen … I’m not going to rush or force anything. But I’ll keep my eyes “peeled” and I’ll start looking at the ring fingers from now on! :P

Buyer's Remorse

Buyer’s Remorse. You ever have that? I slightly remember that feeling – but because of my money situation I can say that’s a feeling I’ve managed to cut out of my life! :) Yay for me, right?



Well, I’ve discovered that you can still have Buyer’s Remorse as it pertains to other areas of your life except it’s called cognitive dissonance. (That’s just a fancy word for Buyer’s Remorse.)


(Like the Cardinals sacrificing a top prospect for a short-term need when they sent rising 3rd baseman Brett Wallace to the Athletics for Matt Holiday.)

According to Wikipedia (and we all know the information on there is 100% true), it can be caused or increased by worrying that other people may later question your decision or claim to know of better alternatives. Hmmm – is there any one in your life that’s really good at giving advice? Just saying … Who isn’t insecure about some of the decisions they make? We all feel cognitive dissonance then. We’re all in the same boat!

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Except I wish that I would learn that lesson before I make the mistake. I seriously wish I had a crystal ball to consult before I make any major decision. That and the Coffee Ground Lady at my beckon call would be nice! ;) It seems to me that past decisions and the result would stick in my mind so I wouldn’t go down that road again … I guess I’m just stubborn – or insane as a friend kindly pointed out to me. I guess he was semi-right – I seem to be making the same choices, expecting different results. But in my defense I am always hoping for a different result, hoping things will be different this time … Hope is a major factor in many of everyone’s’ decisions so prior knowledge and friendly advice often goes out the window! :(



Unfortunately, lapses in judgment allow us to learn a lesson. My advice to you – try on clothes before you leave the store, do some research on major purchases, and don’t be afraid to take chances. Remember, we learn best by doing for ourselves! :)

Pampered Chef Ice-Cream Dipper for Sale!

This blog post is WAY overdue! I was reading through past posts and I saw my top 10 list from July 2009! OMG, how quickly things can change in a years’ time!! Even though my life is so different now, some of my top 10 has not changed – and that’s a good thing!
Still on my list of top 10 things I can’t live without are:
1. Home – though I have moved into town now & miss my old house REALLY bad, I still have a roof over my head & more importantly, my own bathroom & closet! :)

2. Family – for those of you who didn’t know, I left Scott back in January. The divorce is pending, but I’m not divorcing his mom, his sisters, or my nieces & nephews! I love them & am so glad they’re still a part of our lives. Of course I still have my kids – I cherish them greatly – most of the time. :P (You know how life can be with teenagers!)



3. Love – I’ll just stick with the love from #2 right now. No need to complicate things …
4. Good Food – not so much into food anymore. I lost quite a bit of weight & food now doesn’t look as appealing and mouth-watering as it used to. I still like good food, but it’s just not on my top 10 list of things I can’t live without.
5. Computer – mine crashed back in March & I thought I was going to die!!! No Photoshop?! No digi-scrapping goodies?! OMG – I went through some serious withdraw!! Since then my brothers have come through & gave me their old CPU to use. It has none of my usual programs on it, but I can still email and get on the internet. I plan to get my old CPU fixed and back up & running in February – I just can’t afford it now & it’s become less & less of a priority. Getting basics like bread, milk, and eggs are more important.
6. Hi-Speed DSL – well I sort of could leave that one on my list. I’m a bit spoiled, but no longer need the super fast speeds, as I have no one playing Xbox 24/7! But I do miss those fast downloads & have quit playing almost all my fun games on Facebook because it’s too damn frustrating with all that lagging!
7. Ice Cream – same as #4. I’d replace this item I-can’t-live-without with my elliptical! Thanks Nick – always have to thank my little bro! :)

8. Pizza – same as #4, I rarely eat it anymore but anything prepared & delivered to me should make my list! :P
9. Air conditioning – uh, ya, still NEED this. No question!!
10. Pampered Chef Ice Cream Scoop – yes, it’s ultra convenient, but I’m not as big an ice-cream eater as I was last year. I have 2 of these scoops – does anyone out there in digi land want my other scoop?!

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Ahhh – what a question! Do you remember the plans you had? I remember mine and remember that my plans changed from year to year: once I wanted to be a police officer, the next year I wanted to be a nurse, and then again I changed my mind and wanted to be a teacher! Well, none of those things happened. I ended up kind of doing all three things in one job (but I did not become Larry)! Talk about multitasking …!

Once I got to high school I decided on one career I really wanted to go into – but I didn’t dare tell anyone. See, I grew up right outside of Washington, DC – where most people are “successful”. I saw the other kids I went to school with as destined to go to college, get higher degrees, become doctors & lawyers (which many did become), and be “successful” like their parents. So I just kept my dream to myself – no one needed to know that what I wanted to be when I grew up was a good mother.
That was what I thought about – doing something good for my family, I’d be a stay-at-home mom. I loved the days I’d come home from school and mom was there to greet us. She sewed our costumes for plays at school. She was always the leader for our Girl Scout troops at school. Mom had the time to teach me to sew & cook, she had the patience required with 5 small children, and she was our first teacher! Of course I remembered things from my kid point of view – but it made an impression with me and so that’s what I wanted to do.
Life has a way of happening. The SAHM career was not going to work out for me. I was a stay-at-home mom for 6 months, after I got out of the military, and it was the busiest I’d ever been! It was clear though, that I’d have to go back to work - we just needed that additional income. So I had to get a job outside the house because there is no salary in being a SAHM.
I went back to college and got a degree in Family & Consumer Science (aka – Home Ec). The courses were exactly what I wanted to know more about and I had some experience in them already. Being a Family & Consumer Science Extension Agent is close to being a full-time mom. I just have MANY more kids to take care of! LOL! The pay is not great, but it’s better than what SAHMs get! ;) And – I can retire from Extension someday – can’t do that as a SAHM!

What did you want to be when you grew up? Did things happen the way you planned? Are you still working on that dream? I feel like I still have time to become whatever I want, when I grow up! LOL!

Toilet Paper Roll or World Peace?

I do know that there are more serious things in the world today to be very concerned over; to stress about; to strive to solve - but I HAD to vent about my toilet paper roll predicament. It’s not that I’m a narcissist – it’s just that the solutions to this problem won’t take a bajillion dollars and the wisest of politicians & negotiators to solve. This one has a simple solution; it’s a real no-brainer!

So this is what I came home to one day after work:



No biggie, you say. Just put the new roll where it belongs. I agree. If the last person would have done that when the old roll ran out I wouldn’t be angry!! But no – for as long as we’ve been married, my husband rarely has done that. I’ve been keeping track of this behavior since this August and he has not once changed the roll of toilet paper! I’ll see variations of the toilet paper roll in a similar position – but never in the right place! This is really not the end of the world, and not the thing to make an argument over, just small behavior that indicates a person who won’t take the time to make things right. What else does this say?



For the record, this is how it’s supposed to look when one roll of toilet paper runs out and a new one is required! No excuses now. There’s a great visual, just in-case you had no idea …



So, like I said, the wisest politicians & negotiators weren’t called in and I didn’t spend a bajillion dollars either. Don’t you wish every problem was this easy to solve? Who wants to bet that the next time the toilet paper roll needs changed I’ll be the one doing it?

Jack Daniels Bread Pudding & other stuff ...

You are in for a treat! Today I’m gonna share some secrets with you about an award winning dessert … Jack Daniels Bread Pudding. My husband’s, brother-in-law’s, nephew’s, and others’ favorite! Beware though – it’s not low fat, low sugar, or low cholesterol – at least not the way they like it. Another note before I reveal – it takes a long time to make. The original idea of bread pudding was to use stale or day-old bread, in the day before preservatives and commercial processing.

The 1st step is to rip your loaf of bread into bite sized pieces and let that sit out for 1 day. If you’re rushed for time though, you can cover the bread with foil loosely (we want the air to flow – but no germies or bugs to get in) and let it sit out at room temperature for 1 hour or more.

The 2nd step is to add milk (I used 2%, but whole taste better, skim tastes not so great), eggs (I have used Egg Beaters), sugar (sugar substitutes doesn’t taste so great – believe me they know!!), cinnamon & vanilla (I like the whole beans, but will settle for using imitation). Then cover loosely with your foil and let it sit out for another hour. If you’re worried about food safety, remember – you’re gonna cook this.



The 3rd step is to add the bread mixture to a casserole dish (I use a big dish so I double the amount of bread I use – not the other stuff) that is covered with melted butter.

Cook at 375 degrees for 1 hour – approximately. I wish there was “smell-o-internet”, because the smell of the bread pudding baking is HEAVENLY!

When you have 20 minutes left on your baking time, you can be making the sauce; that’s where the Jack Daniels comes in!! So the sauce is simple: Jack, butter (yes, real butter), and sugar. (Sorry Scott, no matter how you measure it, 100ML is not ¼ cup!) Mix those ingredients in a small saucepan over medium heat until melted & bubbly, then turn it on low.


When the bread pudding is ready, drizzle the JD sauce over it slowly (no splashing that way – the buttery sauce is hot & you don’t waste JD!)

I promise you, if you make this & bring it to a dinner, pot-luck, event, etc… Everyone will love you forever & ask you to bring it all the time! (BTW - my 13 yo dd took most of these pix!)

On another note – I have been lucky to be invited to be part of Amy Stoffel’s permanent CT!! I was only guesting for September. Pure luck. I am grateful & excited to be able to show off Amy’s designs – which can be found exclusively at Scrap Orchard! Here are a few of the LOs I made with her kits:

Reunion Time!

I just found a friend of mine on Face Book from the USAF! She was at my first and second assignments ... and then we lost touch. But she told me about a reunion for people we were stationed with/hung out with. It happened in Branson. I guess I missed it. I wonder what all went on?? Hummmmmm ... I guess what happened in Branson stays in Branson? Good thing for the most part I guess.


(Me, Jen, and Steph at RAF Croughton on New Years Eve - welcoming in 1993!)

But Stephanie told me not to fret because the next reunion is in 2011 in LAS VEGAS!!! Wooo hoooo! THAT is one that I will be going to!! So spread the word - all USAF ppl who were stationed at RAF Upper Heyford are invited to one crazy reunion in 2011!


Hey, it's a year and 3 months away. Plan now. I have time to loose this weight by then. I better warm up my elliptical now!